assumptions is very useful to build a sensation of rapport and will make
the listener more receptive to your propositions.
Right now you may ask yourself
You probably feel something
By now you will see, understand, agree …
I see that you start to understand, …
I am so glad to hear that you feel the same way …
You will soon start feeling, you will see, you will enjoy,
We will first … and then you will know, see, feel, …
Once you have fully understood this, you will be able to
Be careful to use vague or ambiguous phrases :
By this time, you might start to become aware of this special
sensation
That (what ??) can feel so good, can’t it?
A good and safe way is to tell things by implication :
I wonder if you already realize that the main advantage …
I don’t know if you already noticed that …
By now, you may feel how the desire keeps growing
And then this sensation of … will increase more and more
You can keep feeling more …
You will feel completely satisfied
Again, we …
Once you have fully understood this, you will be able to …
Everybody knows, We all feel that …
You will feel so secure, so relaxed, so happy …
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Telling the listener what they know, feel and think, is not enough
however: you should link it to what you want them to do next
straight links :
and, also, but, …
Implicit links :
while, during, after, before … you feel, are, will
see…
Links which reveal necessity: since you have experienced for
yourself … you know; A causes B; this requires, Because X …follows
Y; Since we agreed that A = B, therefore …
Avoid giving direct orders : use superpositions instead
NOT: “imagine”, or “try to imagine” - BUT: “While you imagine this, you
will realize that …”
NOT: “look at this”
- BUT: “we can see that …”
… Or build silent acceptation
(which will make it more difficult for the other to disagree later)
Yes?
Right?
You see?
Got it?
5. Use Suggestive Predicates
A 'suggestive predicate' is a predicate that sets up the material that
immediately follows it as a powerful suggestion.
After you come to....
As you... ...then...
After you've...
As you consider this...
And the more you (X)...the
Be aware of what you can
more you (Y)
sense...
And as you...
Before you think...
Are you curious about...
Can you imagine...
Are you aware that...
Can I ask you to...
Are you still interested in...
Can you visualize...
As you hear these words they...
Can you...
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Can you remember...
In my experience...
Could you...
Is it that you are...
Do you realize that you can
Is it possible...
become aware of…
Is it that you have...
Do you think that...
Is it that there is...
Do you remember when...
It is useful that...
Do you...
It's just like...
Do you ever...
It's impossible...
Don't think of...
It's good to know that...
Has it ever occurred to you
It's useful that...
that...
It's good that...
Have you noticed that...
It's either (A) or (B); which is
Have you ever wondered...
it...
Have you...
It's not important that...
Have you ever...
It's as if...
How would you feel if...
People can loosen up easily...
How do you know that...
Perhaps you are...
How do you feel when...
Perhaps you can...
I don't want you to be...
Perhaps you could...
I want you to learn...
Perhaps you're wondering...
I know you are curious...
This can be learned easily...
I saw someone do this in
What do you think would
minutes once...
happen if...
I wonder if...
What would happen if...
I don't know how soon...
What's it like to...
I wonder could you...
When you notice... ...then...
I would like to suggest that...
Will you...
I want you to bear in mind...
Would you...
I want you to become aware...
You come to...
I can remember...
You are learning to anticipate...
I'd like you to pretend that...
You can become aware that...
I'm wondering...
You know about these things...
I'm curious to know...
You will feel...
If you could...
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6. Tell Stories with embedded commands
We were …., and suddenly my friend says : “We are going to ……”
I read an article / book / watched a movie / saw on TV …
So, this guy said to her: “I want you to …”
Meanwhile, they arrived at the cabin. Now, imagine, …
It was like … (+ because + feeling) … Now, with me …
you know …
Notice : the first part of the phrase is in the past tense, the embedded
command is in the present tense!
Telling stories is like painting (mental) pictures with words. Stories are
so great to stimulate someone’s imagination. Because you are talking
about fictive experiences or about other people’s experiences, he will
be less critical and feel more free in his interpretation of your words.
Almost instinctively, the listener will connect to the situation and feel
the emotions that the characters in the story feel, and apply them to the
present moment.
You will make your listener think about anything you want, just by
telling them stories about the subject of your choice. The more vivid,
descriptive, detailed and emotional your stories, the more they will
think about how these things would feel to them, and the more
emotional they will react to your stories. After all, you are not telling
them what to do or how to feel, but just telling about what somebody
else did and felt.
It’s important therefore to mention the desired result or feeling
over and over again.
Use chains of always stronger, connected feelings
A leads to B, B to C …
Link descriptions of actions and situations to feelings
Description of action or situation + and this made them feel like … /
gives you the feeling of …
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Insert embedded commands
By inserting embedded commands, you may talk about anything but
simultaneously you will be programming the listener, “ordering” them
to like you, desire your product, accept your argumentation, …
An imbedded command is reinforced considerably when you use the
listener’s name to mark the begin of your command.
Use ambiguous words and expressions
light = not heavy, bright, told a lie,
below me = blow me
close off = clothes off
new direction = nude erection
come = cum
7. Stimulate Visualization
When you tell somebody not to think of an old gnome, not to imagine
his red pointed cap, not to think of his long white beard, nor of his high
boots and typical duds, … What happens ? They inevitably think of a
gnome anyway. To understand what you are saying, the listener has no
choice but to create in his mind some representation of an old gnome.
A handy way to make your listener think about or imagine
something, is to tell them
* not to think about it
* that there’s no such thing as …
* It is impossible to imagine …
Always remember: Whatever you describe, your listener will
visualize.
The more sensory details you include (colors, sounds, smells, feelings,
tastes, …), the stronger their response will be.
Use vivid descriptions to allow your listener to feel as if they are
directly experiencing what you describe, with all the emotions that
follow from that experience : When you talk about a beach, don’t just
refer to it as “a beach”, but tell how you walked up a hill and suddenly
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spotted this pure strip of land, hidden between two dunes, where the
light blue water glittered between the sun, with the softly murmuring
wide ocean caressing the white sandy shore below you in an eternally
repeated leisurely rising and falling flow of its white foamy waves.
8. Practice Anchoring
Emotions are associative; they get linked to particular stimuli, which
can later revive that emotion, even if there’s no logical connection
between the stimulus itself and the emotion.
Lots of people react very emotionally to certain old songs, because they
automatically connect these songs to a special moment in their life.
There are places, sounds, … that make us feel very good or sad,
depending on which experiences we associate them with. If you had a
truly positive experience with an Italian girl many years ago, you may
suddenly realize that you have become a lover of all things Italian and
maybe not even be able to remember or explain why.
In exactly the same way, you can “anchor” strong emotions, that is:
mark them and in this way link them to a touch, to a specific motion, to
a painting, to the starlit sky … in fact, to anything at all.
The stronger the emotion felt when the anchor is set, the stronger
the response will be when the anchor is “fired” later.
The more special and specific the anchor, the longer it will retain
its function.
Remember Jung’s Archetypes? People share a number of inner images.
Some are universal, most however culturally determined. The trigger
words that activate these images are nowadays called: powerwords.
When talking to women for instance, chances are you trigger a few
emotions when using these power expressions and words :
it feels as if I loved you before I met you,
as if I have always loved only you,
as if I have been searching for you all my life
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as if I love you since the dawn of mankind,
I will love you as long as I live … and more
just imagine feeling more intensely than ever before, feel this sense of
overwhelming, irresistible passion… and then realize you can feel
completely one with yourself, with the universe … and even more.
angels,
destiny, fate,
protection,
sacred,
serendipity,
sharing,
magic,
be in touch with
trust
fairy tales,
her path,
calm ocean
princess,
true passion,
safe harbor
goddess,
be connected
feelings that bridge time,
paranormal experiences, connection with self,
more, deeper,
the inner voice,
finding the One
surrender = give in to
the inner self,
the other half
something
the pure soul,
things that are
overwhelming,
biorhythm,
meant to be,
all-enveloping emotion,
the true nature,
realization cycle
emotional growth, grow,
bigger whole
harmony, peace,
learn
wholeness,
safety,
reaching deeper levels,
universal bond,
open up to
enhance,
signs,
atmosphere
beauty,
adoration
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9. USE PRESUPPOSITIONS
Presuppositions assume that the person you're persuading has
already accepted your proposal or has reached an agreement
with you, even they have not yet done so. See how the questions
below "presuppose" your desired outcome.
"Are you still willing to join me in my quest?" (This question
does not ask "if" you're willing, but it presupposes that you're
already willing.)
"I will give you $100 when you finish this task. (Notice I didn't
say "if" but "when.")
"When do you want to start doing your assignment?" (It
assumes you already want to do it; the only question is "when"
to start).
"How happy are you to be here in this memorable event?" (It
assumes you're already happy; the only question is your level
of happiness.)
"I'm glad you checked this out. How will you apply it to your
business?" (It assumes you will apply it; the only question is
"how" you will apply it.)
"Shall we start the program on Thursday or Friday?" (It
assumes the program will push through; the only question is
"when.")
When you ask these questions, people will also start thinking of
answers and may therefore get distracted from thoroughly
understanding your question. You can then easily persuade them
at this point.
10. Use The Magic Conversational Hypnosis Questions
You can make people do what you want right now by asking
a question that assumes he has already did your desired
request.
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Here's an example:
"If you made money with this program, would you continue
your membership?"
If they say "yes", then you're in a much better position to
persuade. That's because they will never know if they will make
money with your program... unless they join.
Another way of asking is called: The false choice
Do you want to completely relax or do you prefer to just chill
out?
Would you prefer to go to "the Kings", or do you prefer "the
Shakespeare"?
whatever choice is made, leads to a convenient situation for you!
In fact, where it comes down to is : never ask questions, but
make it seem like you are
Never, never EVER do I ask someone to do something. Tell them
they can. Tell them they will. But let them THINK you are
asking.
We have a household goal of $60 once for the year. We only
come around once a year and $60 gives us $5 a month to
budget with, fight the cause in your name and win. You can
meet that goal tonight, right.
Notice there is no question mark at the end of that sentence.
That's because there is no queston. The words may sound like a
question, but your tone should sound like you are stating a cold
hard fact. You can say no to a question, it's a lot harder to say no
to a fact.
Confidence is key.
Be confident that your listener wants to do what you are
suggesting. Be positive. Not selling your idea isn’t an option.
Talk, confident that the other is interested in what you are
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having to say. Confident that they want to get involved. Most of
the time they will do what you want, because it never even
occurs to them to do otherwise.
Back that confidence by using strong language:
not “I am trying, we will try, maybe we could, …” but : “I will”
not “you could help me if …” but, “you will help me by …”
11. Subliminal Magic Writing
Use the same techniques when writing .
1. Make the subject a winner :
Have others name them, and name them yourself over
and over again as :
a.
The one they trust,
b.
The (only) one that can satisfy their desire, need,
longing
c.
Healthy, handsome, smart, tender, protective, strong,
caring,
2. Make them repeat : I want, need, desire …
3. Include specific positive information :
a.
Preferences
b.
Things the subject is good at
c.
Successes
4. Refer to previous periods of wellbeing, happiness,
success
Reference: chapter based on the works of Milton Erickson.
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3.48 THE POWER OF “YES”
For much of my adult life I’ve been shackled by fear. I’ve been
afraid to try new things, afraid to meet new people, afraid of
doing anything that might lead to failure. This fear confined me
to a narrow comfort zone.
Recently, however, I made a single small change that has
helped me to overcome my fear, and allowed me to get more
out of life. I began to note the things that I blocked and accepted.
To my surprise, I blocked things constantly — I made excuses
not to do things because I was afraid of what might happen if I
accepted.
I made a resolution. I decided that instead of saying “no” to
things because I was afraid of them, I would “just say yes”. That
became my working motto: “Just say yes”. Any time anyone
asked me to do something, I agreed to do it (as long as it
wasn’t illegal and didn’t violate my own personal code of
conduct). In the past six months, I’ve put this philosophy into
practice in scores of little ways.
Already the power of “yes” has made large changes to my life and
has exposed me to things I never would have done before. Some
of these, for me, were really big steps. These experiences were
new, and I wouldn’t have had them if I hadn’t forced myself to
just say yes.
Most of my experiences from my “just say yes” campaign have
been positive, but not all of them. I’ve had some failures, too.
Surprisingly, I’ve learned even more from the bad experiences
than I have from the good.
So, every time you think or say the word “No,” substitute the
word “Yes.” You will be amazed at the results. It immediately
creates positive energy. It shifts attitudes. It inspires creativity.
And it helps people feel safe, and maybe open up and tell you
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how they really feel. “Yes” is embracing. “No” is a closing the
door. The goal here, is to cultivate “Yes” in your environment.
Say “Yes” and…(insert your creativity) to experience more
meaningful and truthful conversations. This will help you get to
where you want to be in life.
“YES” is contagious even to the negative people. Just don’t give
up and let the negative people steal your energy. There is no
quick journey to cultivating “YES!,” and if it doesn’t work for both
parties maybe it’s time for a change. “YES!”
When you have this “Yes” culture, life becomes more fun, you are
more productive and in both your personal and professional life,
you will see and feel the benefits. Please let me know how the
power of “Yes” works for you.
“Thoughts are energy. And you can make your world by your
thinking.”
“The word “yes” may bring trouble; the “no” leads nowhere.” –
Bantu Proverb
Sources:
J.D. Roth -
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/06/13/the-power-of-
yes-a-simple-way-to-get-more-out-of-life/
Susan L. Taylor - http://www.clarityleadership.com/?p=88
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3.49 VISUALIZATION
3.49.1 Mental Imagery
What is a mental image? It is mental picture, scene or event that
you see in your mind. You construct mental images in your mind
all the time, albeit unconsciously. The mental images that you
often visualize affect your life, whether you are aware of this or
not. I am not talking mental images that you visualize once or
twice, but about the mental images that you often repeat in your
mind.
Mental images have the power to change your life. The
subconscious mind accepts these images as reality, and gradually
you start to believe what you imagine, act accordingly, and
unconsciously work toward making them a reality in your life.
This is the secret of the law of attraction creative visualization.
Mental images, if repeated often can make great changes in your
life. If you visualize negative situations, difficulties and problem,
and continue doing so, your moods will gradually become
negative, you will alienate people, you will close your eyes to
opportunities, and your self-esteem will go down. How can you
achieve success if you are so negative?
On the other hand, successful people attract success, because
they constantly imagine and expect success.
Mental images are like a movie or still pictures that you see in