Chapter 17 Respect and Love Your Parents.
Parents are great gifts from God, and orphans would be quick to agree wholeheartedly with me. Just sit still for 5 minutes and visualise the loss, emptiness and distress of some children, who lost their parents in infancy, and were brought up by relatives or strangers. Think of the probable shambles in their world. It is time you feel truly thankful.
The Bible and the Koran say: Parents are Gods representatives on earth and we ought to love, revere and obey them. We show reverence by having a high regard for them, speaking to them or about them with full respect. Lets be forever grateful for the great trouble they took, to bring us up from babies to adults, from crayon to perfume; 21 years of attention, worry and care, all free of charge! By the time they have spent the money to put us through university, we are all they have left! When you have children of your own, you will know what you owe your parents.
When we were babies, our parents had to change our nappies regularly and wake up every night to feed us. Occasionally we got sick and they stayed up all night, trying to comfort us amidst our tears. In my experience my wife and I went to the extent of consoling the crying child with embraces, songs, strolls and car rides under the stars! I remember one night, a motorbike accidentally hit my wife and the pram with my daughter Vinny in it, she got up quickly, first to make sure Vinny was okay. Havent you heard of a story about a mother who lifted a car to free her child?Arent mothers great?
Kids who have never been on their own may not appreciate fully all that parents have been doing for them. Since birth, the parents have cared for them daily, provided food, clothing, a home, toys and education. If kids had to hire someone to do all that for them it would cost them a fortune! Some parents made great sacrifices, letting children have things first, and my wife always says: „I want to give them what I didnt have. Children should therefore repay some of these bounties by returning love, respect and obedience. All the rules and restrictions imposed by your parents are out of love, for your own good and your future.
Someday, when you have children of your own, wouldnt you want them to understand, respect and care for you too? Learn to accept the subordinate position you have now, so you can learn, then handle the greater responsibilities of adulthood and parenthood later. We love our parents by doing our best to please and help them, especially when they are old and sickly. We should love our brothers and sisters the same way, because they are God-given companions. They are precious, and those without brothers and sisters will agree with me. It is towards what we cannot have that we feel grateful.
Who would love you and care for you the most? Your parents, casual acquaintances or strangers? Modern societies overlook the importance of the „family nest at their peril. Some parents think they can raise their kids by remote control! There have been unfortunate girls, who left home because they could not find love, warmth, mutual respect and understanding there. They fell in love and got married at 18! By 19 they were divorced and became solo-parents. Soon they got into bad company, alcohol, drugs and crime, and the rest of their lives were awful. It was sheer stupidity to think that their outside acquaintances or immature boyfriends could care for them better.
Experts have found that delinquency, crime, failure and unhappiness are caused largely by lack of love, care and guidance at home. It is high time that children, parents and the world appreciate the sanctuary, sanctity and greatness of the family. This awareness would erase much of the worlds chaos and heartbreaks.
Many Asian households should be congratulated for the impressive coherence of their families. Youngsters leave home not to go flatting, only to get married! The eldest son and his family usually stay on with the parents and care for them until they age and pass away. The concerted care and shared attention that Asian siblings give to their elderlies are equally praiseworthy. So my advice to you is: Do not leave home before you are 21, before you are mature and wise enough to look after yourself. Your parents love you and they want to take care of you.
Some naughty children may think that parents, unlike them, should be neither seen nor heard, but they still live under one roof, so let us look at some vital tips on how to live with your parents, brothers and sisters:
1. Feel and show your delight in seeing your parents, brothers and sisters at all times.
2. Listen attentively when you are spoken to.
3. Never argue with them, if you are emotional about an issue, calm down and discuss later. Parents are human and occasionally you may feel they are unreasonable. You must still reason gently with them. Respect and courtesy help tremendously and are the only ways to go.
4. In helping your loved ones, you invariably support yourself, think about that! Give great assistance by answering doors, phones and running errands.
5. Respect privacy by knocking on doors and refrain from making nuisance.
6. Remember birthdays of all at home; give gifts and celebration.
7. Be enthusiastic and supportive of interests among members of your family.
8. In introducing friends to your parents, show respect by saluting them first: „Mum, this is Tom.
9. Greet your parents friends courteously at all places. Welcome visitors at home, and seat them before calling your parents.
10. Do not interrupt your parents or anybody when they are talking.
11. Discuss private matters privately with your family members, not in front of outsiders. 12. Respect the properties of everyone, ask for things instead of ransacking their drawers and cupboards!
13. Always be apologetic and forgiving.
14. Parents, brothers and sisters should love and enjoy one anothers company, and give each other the best time, help, mental and spiritual support, through life.
Wise parents are ever-ready to understand and forgive their kids, no matter what happens; knowing that even God had difficulty handling His first 2 children! So they cannot expect parenthood to be a piece of cake. Hence, the spiritual, emotional and tangible support in the home is immeasurable. Nothing can match the loving bond found here, the strongest and most beautiful union, since the beginning of life on earth.
"My mother was the making of me, she was so true, so sure of me; and I felt that I had someone to live for; someone I must not disappoint." - Thomas Edison, great inventor.
"The bride received a little car as a wedding present! On the windscreen was a card with the words - With all our love, Mama and Pauper." - Anonymous.