Chapter 91 A Model Citizen, Gaining Reverence and Recognition.
You may not be able to control the length of your life, but you can control its width, depth and height. Greatness is not in possession and power, but in character, goodness and service to humankind. A proverb once stated, "Pleasures are transient; honours immortal.
Your core and character. Your inner qualities precede social ones. If you want a decent place in society, put your house in order first. Improve your relationship with yourself before you better your relationship with others. Be true to yourself and your moral values. Take care of your character; your reputation will take care of itself. A good reputation is a great asset, but you must earn it. You must be venerated for what you are, not what you seem to be. Excellent habits are imperative. They are not only the essence of a healthy and orderly life, they are the ingredients of the man himself! A sum total of your habits form your character. Stephen Covey noted, "In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. Oliver Goldsmith agreed, "You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. Your words must be backed by deeds. Epictetus urged us, "Act your part with honour. The absence of integrity and character may get by temporarily, but there will be no lasting honour and success. H. Greeley reiterated this, "Fame is a vapour, popularity an accident, riches takes wings. Only one thing endures character. Thomas Jefferson empowered us further: "In matter of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like the rock.
Integrity. This goes hand in hand with character, and is a quality of trustworthiness, responsibility and incorruptibility. It is something we all look for in our spouse, our employees and in everyone we associate with. Lack of this erodes everything at home, at work and in society. Falsehood lives on borrowed time and will be detected and punished sooner or later. The dishonest man hangs on a thread, he is always looking for a way out while his problems compound themselves!
Trust is one of the most important factors in your personal and professional life. Confidence cannot be restored easily by making amends and when trust is lost you cannot win it back. Be a man of your word, and keep all your commitments and promises. Be loyal and respectful, even to those who are not around you, then you build reverence and trust from all concerned. Shakespeare proclaimed, "No legacy is so rich as honesty. Thomas Jefferson quipped, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Chilton urged us to "Prefer loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain of the moment, the other for all time. When you gain trust, you will finally win respect and love too.
Your image. What kind of an image do you want to project to society? Do you have individuality and identity? Or are you easily swept away by the tides? Whom do you associate with? You are known by the company you keep. Do you have poise? Are your ways of moving and speaking pleasing to others? The person with composure is not jagged or overbearing. He harmonises with his surroundings; in fact he looks natural everywhere he goes. You can improve your poise with observation, practice, rich knowledge and social experience. You should fine-tune your behaviour to suit various circumstances. For example, in a certain situation you should talk less and listen more and in another, participate and laugh heartily! Next, do you exude dignity? True dignity does not arise from position, pretension and pomposity, but from balance, sincerity, humility, courtesy and graciousness.
Impeccable conduct. You can demand respect, but you must deserve it. You earn it with flawless mannerism, genuine politeness, natural affability and gentleness. Lord Chesterfield insisted that "Manners must adorn knowledge and smooth its way through the world. Show empathy and affection, they boost your influence on others. You must also have reliability, commitment, ethics and a keen sense of justice in all facets of your personal and commercial dealings, thereby winning others confidence, praise and respect. Spread sunshine and success, health and wealth to everyone you meet. Use all your interpersonal skills to make them feel honoured, motivated and valuable. Remember Christian Bovees words: "The smallest courtesies sweeten life; the greater ennoble it.
Your People skills. As you move around your world, always bear in mind Jonathan Swifts observation: "Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy, is the best bred in the company. Remember names and birthdays of close acquaintances and loved ones. Friendship and kindness make everything easier and can make up for whatever you are lacking. Empower the people around you. Win and hold the confidence of others. Control and convert difficult persons in your life, with your capacity to change the minds and touch the hearts of others. You get treated in life in the way you "train people to treat you. Seek the help of strong and successful people, jog and jet with them! Maintain strong ties with centres of influence. A mastery of communication and body language opens doors everywhere. Radiate cheer and enthusiasm. Be a beacon of inspiration and influence.
A fountain of knowledge, expertise, courage and wisdom. A focal point of intelligence, information, skills and power invariably draws admiration and cooperation. This is achieved through relentless learning, training and fine-tuning. Choose an occupation you enjoy, one in which you excel, serve others and win recognition. Courage includes guts, grit, heroism and moral courage. You need this to live with integrity and convictions, to shoulder responsibilities and surmount setbacks.
Performance and contribution. Have objectives, desire and drive, then plan and work your best and expect only the best. Your overall performance will be the result of your vitality, optimism, calibre and your capacity to initiate, manage and delegate. Creativity, competency against problems, the ability to analyse matters objectively and to make sound and timely decisions are equally important. Your service to your community counts greatly. This grows out of selflessness and empathy and the habit of helping people. Remember the old saying: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There are countless opportunities for little acts of kindness, community projects and charity drives; get involved and get cracking.
In conclusion, lets appreciate the words of Confucius: "There are three marks of superior man: Being virtuous, he is free from anxiety; being wise, he is free from perplexity; being brave, he is free from fear. Now you should spend so much time progressing, and enjoying the world, that you have no time for grouch and criticism. Hereafter, you should be too great for pettiness, too courageous for fear, too virtuous for wrong.