14. Realize that even beautiful women get rejected
Beautiful women get rejected all the time, but we normally don't notice it. That's because rejection is a lot more subtle for them than it is for us. Men feel rejected when they ask for a phone number and a girl says "no way" or when we try to kiss them and they pull away. These are pretty obvious cues that someone doesn't want to be with us and it is extremely difficult to misinterpret them.
So what is a rejection cue for a woman? What does it look like?
First, think about all the time that women put into their appearance. Not just makeup, but their whole "look". They spend time thinking about what they are going to wear on a particular night, whether they are going for classy or fun or whatever, which attributes of their body their clothes accentuate, what the colors do to their hair, eye, and skin color, and the list goes on and on.
Why is it that they do this? Men like looking good to, but we normally don't go to the same lengths that women do.
This is because the primary indicator if interest for a woman is actually being approached. If she signals to you that she wants you to approach her, and you don't go, you've rejected her, and she'll feel it. Their game is way more subtle than ours. When they approach you, that doesn't mean that she comes up to you and ask "hey my name is Brittney, what's your name"? They do much smaller, subtler things. Maybe they stand close to you, or look you in the eye, or smile at you.
Although this can be seen as them making the first move, it's totally on you to make any interaction a reality.
But most men don't either don't see those cues, or they do and just don't have the balls to approach. If you don't approach them, you reject them.
Question time: do you think that rejection, even if it's as subtle as I described it above, hurts a woman's feelings more or less than it hurts ours?
Well let's think about that for a moment. How many hours did it take you to get ready before you went out that night? How much time did you spend picking out what you want to wear? How much time did you brood over whether to wear your hair up or down? Oh, what's that? No time at all?
Case in point.
They have spent so much time working on and cultivating the things that they believe will draw men to them, that if you wuss out and don't approach them you are going to hurt their feelings. And women take rejection very personally. Most men, although not all men, just let rejection roll off of them like water, which is a great thing. Women tend to mull over it, as if there really is something wrong with her that made you decided to turn away and sip your beer.
I want you to really think about this the next time you go out. Look, men just aren't that great of picking up on the subtleties of human interaction. So the next time you even think "this lady just smiled at me", just get up and go talk to her! She wants you to do it!
Even if you get no cue whatsoever, just go over with this in mind: You're a guy, so if she gave you some sign that she wants you to approach her, you totally missed it.
Just give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
And check this out:
There was a study done not too long ago about men approaching women and how your initial frame of mind before your approach affects the outcome. This seems totally obvious, and it is, really, but it's cool that they finally have scientific backing for this very specific phenomenon.
Here is how the experiment worked: there were two groups of guys and one group of attractive women. Each guy would be paired up with a girl who he had never met in a room alone and they would interact for about 15 minutes and then leave.
They had two groups of men; each guy in Group 1 was told that the woman he was to meet had already seen his picture and his profile, and that she was really nervous to meet him, fearing that he was out of her league. Group 2 had no such treatment. The scoring was based on the fluidity of the interaction and the general mood.
Who do you think did better? It was the guys who walked in believing that they had the upper hand. Duh!
Because they felt like the women were nervous talking to them, they were able to be much more confident and genuine, which in turn made the women feel more comfortable.
You can use this notion of competitive advantage in order to boost your own confidence, which leads me to the next point…