X
Extra points
At this point, make a list of ten or more people you can spend time with in the spirit of fellowship and Singleship and social dating. These are just friends and acquaintances. There should be little sexual attraction between you and the people on the list. Contact these friends and have some fun. Go to movies, make meals together, take a bike ride, hike, and enjoy these activities.
Study and think about your friends and what you like about them. Do they speak or listen to you in a certain way? Do you share a hobby or other interests? Do you have common friends or occupations?
To review: all happy singles know that the ability to satisfy the need for grouping and intimacy, without the component of sexual attraction or conquest, transforms their Singleship experience into a more positive one. Though it would seem that the non-committed, one night "hookup" has a place in good Singleship, it does not. Simple social dating does a good job though.
Lust is really not good intimacy and does not make you feel safe in the long run. It is in everyone to some degree, though more the genteel folk I met rarely discussed it. Don't be afraid to call it out when you see it. You can point to it, blow a whistle at it and throw a flag like in a football game to stop it. Imagine if you had a sign on your head that flashed the word LUST every time you saw someone you thought was "hot." In my view, people use this word "hot" instead of lust. "Hot" is a hip word. Lust is not so good. People will try to disguise lust or call it something new.
Lust does not fit into Singleship on a daily basis. If you want to look "hot," it generally means you are willing to let other people lust after you in a way that makes them suffer the affects of your "hotness." To paraphrase what the Buddhist folk say (I am not one), suffering does not make the world a better place. Do you make people suffer under your extreme hotness?
There is a certain concept of "hotness" today that is really more about being in fashion and chic and this causes a list of annoying maladies in unsuspecting humans. If you are so very "hot" each and every day as to make people suffer, consider that the long-term, cumulative effect on this world maybe not be so good.
If you are just plain single, being "hot" is fun. In Singleship there is just one kind of salsa: mild. The hot, very hot and extra spicy, and spendy versions of lust and "hotness" are only for those who are single, on the prowl and ready to give or get some pain.
So many relationships begin with "hotness" or lust and these end badly. Don't do it in Singleship. Store lust away for a while like a pair of summer sandals. Bring out your unique "hotness" only for very romantic dates. It's not for social dating in Singleship. Happy singles noted that when they shared their personal and unique "hotness" with a special someone, it meant that they were saving this for that person alone. This idea should make your unique "hotness" more valuable to you.
Write about someone who you think is superduper hot. Are you suffering from it?
NOTES
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________