Law 5:
Sexualise Your Interactions
With Women
What every international seducer and natural knows is that having made your initial approach, it is always essential to sexualise your interactions with women, beginning as early as possible, and amping up the tension as you go. At no point should there be any doubt that you are relating to one another in any way other than man-to-woman . In modern Western cultures, the rule is sex first, relationship after. This rule, although unwritten, is immutable and unshakeable, and applies in all cases.
Women have a binary sexual strategy: they look for alpha “lovers” to have sex with and to impregnate them, and they look for beta “provider” types to care for them and raise their children. Now, of course, most women will refute this, and individuals all have different agendas, but nevertheless you can observe this pattern played out all the time. Initially, you need to put yourself in the alpha camp. Even if you are really a beta provider type who wants nothing more than to settle down with the girl of his dreams in a cosy family situation, in order to get there, you must first attract the woman. After sex, when you have decided you like her and you want a relationship with her, it is relatively easy to switch down a gear into beta, but it is very hard to go the other way. Sex cements the attraction between you and makes it unequivocal that this is a man-woman dynamic. Nothing else counts—not a good reaction to an approach, not flirtation, not even kissing. In today’s sexual marketplace, all of these things are meaningless. A woman won’t regard you as a serious proposition until after she’s slept with you (and not always then, in some cases). Generally, once sex has taken place, you are in a better position to dictate whether this will be a one- night stand, a fuck-buddy arrangement, or the start of a relationship. Because women are the selectors, the gatekeepers to sex, it is only once a man has broken through her defences that he is in any position to dictate terms or even appear on her radar as a serious consideration in many cases.
So ubiquitous that a neologism was created in its honour, the “friendzone” is the dreaded state wherein a man who has a sexual interest in a woman is told by her that she only sees him as a friend and that nothing more can happen. Whatever you do, you must avoid this situation at all costs. In most cases, the friendzone is pretty much synonymous with oneitus, a concept discussed earlier. If you are currently in the friendzone with a girl you like, that is, if you have expressed an interest but she has rejected you and you are still hanging around her, then turn back to the section on oneitus and follow the steps laid out there to extricate yourself. But always remember that prevention is better than a cure. If you follow the advice in this chapter and sexualise your relations with women from the get-go, you need never face the friendzone again.
In many of the discussions of this topic that I have seen, “friendzoning” has become a verb, e.g., “Samantha friendzoned me.” Understand that no one has the power to put you in the friendzone except yourself. It is a man’s responsibility to express sexual intent in his dealings with attractive women from the start. If she happens to reject this frame, that’s fine. You simply walk away. What you must never do is accept the “consolation prize” of friendship after the event. It is a one-way path to oneitus and emotional torture. More than this, it is dishonest. The truth is that you don’t really want to be friends with her at all. You want to be her lover. In every interaction you have with a woman, you must be strong and dictate terms from the beginning. Of course, she has the right not to fall in line, but you also then have the right to walk away from her and not buy into a phony offer of friendship, which will inevitably just lead to further mental torment for you down the line.
The way to quash the friendzone is to establish a strongly sexual frame from the outset, come what may. Such a frame is communicated through the elements we discussed earlier: strong eye contact and a dominant, masculine posture. There are two further elements, both of which are vital: touch and verbal spikes. In any successful seduction, these will be employed in tandem and slowly dialled up throughout the whole interaction from the initial meeting to sex.
The way you should think of it is rather like the diagram above. The interaction is a funnel, where the intensity of the duel elements of touch and sexualised verbal spikes are slowly increased throughout until sex occurs at the end.
Of course, the degree to which you can be sexual will to some extent be determined by the environment you find yourself in; so, if you are in a quiet art gallery, for example, then by necessity you will be less sexual than if you are in a busy nightclub environment with a charged atmosphere. Even so, you must still dial up touch and verbal spikes, even if you are compelled to be more subtle.
This may sound easy to do in theory, but in practice, many guys find it very hard. The reasons for this trait are two-fold.
• Because society and the culture at large have trained men to believe that girls are less sexual than they are, and that they will be gravely offended if a guy drops in a sexual comment or touches her. Even worse, some guys have been conditioned to think it’s wrong or lacking in respect to do so.
• When an interaction is going well, many guys won’t risk breaking rapport by dropping in something that might upset the girl and cause her to walk away. This is probably the more common fear as well as the more insidious.
Understand: Being sexual, rather than putting her off, will increase her attraction to you in most cases . Girls like strong, confident men who are sexual and go after what they want without apology. Also, being sexual is a bulletproof friendzone destroyer. Look at it this way. If the vibe is going well with a girl and you drop in something sexual and she walks off in disgust, then in all probability it was never going to work out anyway. Much better to push the envelope early and risk losing her. In reality, you have nothing to lose anyway and much to gain.
When you talk to women, remember that they are sexual people—arguably more so than men—and once you start meeting and attracting them regularly, you will be amazed at the crazy things that happen all the time. You will start to see “inside the matrix” and realise that you can get away with so much more than you ever thought possible. And, of course, sex is happening constantly. With all of this in mind, don’t ever feel that you need to talk to girls as though they are some gentle species to be shielded from the realities of the world. Such thinking is naive and the mark of a beta.
Also, don’t be intimidated by attractive women. However hot she may be, she is just another human being like you getting through life, and she has her own issues to face. Even if you are an eighteen-year-old World of Warcraft nerd and she is captain of the cheerleading squad, recognise that she is just a person, and the invincible sexual power she seems to hold at the moment will only last for a few years, probably until her mid-to-late thirties, whereas yours, as a man, will last a lot longer (because men’s attractiveness is not only based on looks but also charisma, earning potential, masculine dominance, humour, and a whole host of other factors). In the end, the playing field will be levelled, and understanding this should help you to keep things in perspective and stop viewing interacting with hot women like it’s a big deal.
Finally, it is your job as a man to sexualise the interaction . You should always lead, allowing her to enjoy that masculine / feminine polarity. As stated, you need to pepper each interaction with physical and verbal spikes. These should be delivered in tandem and exponentially over the span of the interaction until sex occurs.
Physical Spikes: The Touch Ladder
Touch is vital in interacting with women in a sexual way and was another of the biggest realisations that skyrocketed my game. I cannot overemphasise is the importance of touch. If you are not a tactile person (as I wasn’t) then you need to learn and learn fast. Touch is the fundamental way in which we demonstrate sexual intent . Do it right and it will kill the friendzone and lead to sex—fast.
You should think of touch as being like a ladder that leads all the way up to sex: the sooner you get onto the bottom rung the better: the more accustomed a girl becomes to physicality between you, the more likely it is that sex will occur. You need to start touching her as early in the interaction as possible and escalate as it progresses. But what do I mean by touch, and how do you do it without coming across as a creep? Think of touch as spreading across this range:
Handshake >>> “Social” Touching >>> Kissing >>> Sex
In the majority of cases, you will start on the left and move right over a period of time that could span a few minutes or a few weeks, depending on the girl, the circumstances, or the setting in which you find yourself. There have been cases where I have walked up and simply started kissing the girl, and sex can also happen very quickly, even within a few minutes of meeting. Get used to this idea, and look out for opportunities where it seems possible, but otherwise observe the pattern above, making sure you’re always pushing things just a little bit further. Here are some specific steps broken down for you.
• When first meeting in a daytime or formal setting, shake her hand, making sure that you maintain strong, direct eye contact.
• Still holding her hand, put a firm hand on her lower back and pull her in towards you then kiss her on both cheeks.
• If I am in a club, I will high-five her and then grab her hand and twirl her around before pulling her close to me and dancing with her in a faux ballroom style. Sometimes, I’ll just pick her up and carry her off somewhere more private.
• Seek to “isolate” her, that is, arrange a date for another time, or if possible take her to a coffee shop or another part of the bar / club there and then. Get into deeper conversation, and emphasise your points by touching her frequently on the lower arm or the shoulder.
• Initiate handholding . You’ll be amazed how quickly you can do this—I generally start holding a girl’s hand within minutes of sitting down. This can be tricky if you’re new to it as it feels ballsy, but it signals a deliberate upping of the ante, and many times the girl will simply accept it. When this happens, you are unequivocally out of friendzone territory. At first, she might pull her hand away. If this happens, though, don’t worry. Just continue the conversation with her and try again a little later.
• Pull her in towards you and embrace her. Do this frequently.
• Touch her hair; push it back out of her eyes or behind her shoulder if it’s long.
• Get in close and smell her neck, saying her perfume is incredible. Start kissing her neck and ears while playing with her hair.
• If she resists any of the above, don’t worry and whatever you do, don’t look hurt or sad. Just smile, carry on talking, and try again later. Remember that the alpha male is persistent, amused, and goes for what he wants.