Having read this far, you should have acquired a belief in the principle of abundance with regard to women. Nevertheless, each time you meet a new girl, it is your job to push the interaction as far as you possibly can under the circumstances in which you find yourself. This is by no means a contradiction and is necessary for the following reasons:
• It communicates that you are a man of action who can take charge and get what he wants.
• You might get laid. Realise that sex happens every day and night. A LOT more is possible than you currently believe.
• If you don’t get laid, pushing forward with an interaction will at least give you a valuable reference experience to take for next time. A lot of the time, proficiency with women comes down to experience and figuring out what works and what doesn’t.
• You may never see her again, especially if you live in a densely populated metropolitan environment.
As discussed, sex comes first, and relationships second. Don’t fall prey to “friends first” propaganda. If you get a girl out on a date and don’t sleep with her, there’s a possibility that you will never see her again, however well you get on. Women, particularly young, attractive ones, have a plethora of options open to them, ranging from so-called “beta-orbiters” (male “friends” in their social circle who want to fuck them) to all those guys who “like” their pictures and leave messages on Facebook and Instagram to guys they meet in bars, at work, at parties, etc. These options are quadrupled in major metropolitan environments like London and New York, where there are many distractions for everyone. A kiss means nothing, and “second base” means very little. The only way to truly get on a girl’s radar is to fuck her and fuck her good. Therefore, get out of the habit of viewing dates as cosy meetings where you “get to know one another.”
Instead, approach every date strategically, with the intention of taking the girl home for sex at the end of it. Of course, this is not to say that just because you don’t sleep with her the first time your chances are blown forever. In many cases, a two-tier model , where you get her comfortable with you on the first date, only to take her home on the second, is optimal. The point is that you must rid yourself of conventional dating ideas and always pursue sex early.
So what does pushing every interaction to the extreme mean in practice? Obviously, it changes depending on the circumstances. Say you meet a woman on public transport during your journey to work (and if you commute, this is something you should be looking to do regularly). Realistically, it is highly unlikely that you are going to have sex there and then, so the furthest you can push it is getting a phone number. That’s fine. You’ve done your job. But if you are on a date or in a bar or nightclub situation, then you need to go for a kiss at least, and really you need go home with her. Remember: the girl isn’t going to lose respect for you for trying. In actual fact, if anything, her respect will increase because, let’s be honest, she knows you want to sleep with her anyway, so if you don’t at least try, then she will either think something’s wrong or that you’re a pussy. So at least take the shot, even if you think that it’s unlikely to happen tonight for whatever reason. You won’t lose out.
At base, successful seduction is all about creating opportunities and handling logistics—both hers and yours.
Her logistics: Whenever you meet a girl, you need to ascertain the following:
• Is she single?
• Where does she live?
• Who is she with? Is she the designated driver or something similar?
• What are her plans now / for the next few hours / in the morning (if it’s a club situation)?
If you know the answers to these questions, you’ll have a pretty good idea of the chances of sleeping with her in the next few hours. Now use your common sense and don’t under any circumstances bombard her with a checklist of questions; instead, pepper the conversation with them so that you can form a picture. For example, if you meet her on the morning commute, you can be pretty certain she is going to work; however, it is still worth asking her where her office is, partly to be social but also to find out if it’s close by. Perhaps you could meet up for a drink later. At that point, find out where she lives. Maybe you could share a cab home together. Once you’re in the cab, suggest she comes back to your place to look at some photographs or watch a movie.
Boyfriends: Note that the “single” question can be problematic, as girls will frequently lie. The de facto phrase most use to deflect guys is, “I have a boyfriend.” When you first meet, if she says this, you have no way of ascertaining whether it’s true or not, and in a way it doesn’t matter. A brush-off is a brush-off, after all. The best response is to say, “Oh, cool” and then carry on talking, moving off the topic, before asking for her number or otherwise escalating anyway. If she really has a boyfriend (or if she’s simply not interested), then she’ll stop you, but the extra time you’ve bought will sometimes allow you to show her that you’re a cooler guy than she initially thought, and if you’re successful, then the “boyfriend” may magically melt away.
What if she really does have a boyfriend, but she’s giving you positive signals anyway? Here we get into an ethical question, and in the end it’s down to you whether to pursue her or not. Realise that most attractive women have “boyfriends” of some kind—either guys they’re sleeping with or fully-fledged partners—and they will have varying degrees of commitment to these men. It may be that she’s bored with her boyfriend, is looking to get out, and likes you as a new prospect. Many long-term relationships prosper out of such circumstances. That said, in general, the best advice is probably to avoid girls in committed partnerships. It’s not worth the hassle and remember the law of abundance—there are enough single ones out there to be going on with.
Your logistics: These are all the elements that you can control, and you should make sure you have them handled. They include:
• Having condoms
• Money for drinks and cabs
• A date venue that is near to your place and easy to travel back from
• Clean sheets
• A pleasant, tidy room
• Music
• Candles
You want the interaction to run as smoothly as possible, so establish discipline and ensure all these things are organised before you go out. Once she’s agreed to go back to your place, any glitches may cause her to reconsider. Bear in mind that the ultimate goal is isolation. You’re not going to fuck her in a public bar (or you might, depending on your mutual tastes, but it’s perhaps less than ideal), and the chances of fucking her increase exponentially when you get her back to your place, so your job is to make everything happen as smoothly as possible. That means not having stupid obstacles in the way that could have been avoided with forward planning.
Unlike in (most) daytime interactions, when you’re out in a bar or club, there’s a very strong social precedent for taking a girl home and fucking her that night. In these locations, “pushing the interaction as far as possible” really means committing to an interaction with a girl and hanging in there until the bitter end—either until you get laid or until it’s unequivocally clear that it’s not going to happen (tonight) .
Your club strategy should be to go around talking to as many different girls as you can. Accept that there will be varying degrees of success, and don’t judge yourself for them. Instead, be proud of the fact that you’re doing what the other 95 percent of guys don’t—man up and approach.
During the course of the evening, you will inevitably meet more than one girl who is receptive. Decide which one you want, and make a decision to hang in there for as long as it takes. Understand that the “game” of one-night stands or quick sex is won or lost at the end of the night. You can have a fun, flirty interaction with her at 9.30 p.m., but chances are she won’t leave with you then. At 2 a.m., she might, though, so up until that point you need to hang in there with her as long as possible. Of course, this needs to be done with social intelligence and never in a way that will make the girl uncomfortable, but I’ve ended up sharing taxis “home” with girls I’ve had great rapport with, even though in truth I lived on the other side of town. Once you reach her place, you can suggest you come in “just for five minutes.” There’s a good chance she’ll invite you up for a coffee anyway. Attraction + opportunity leads to sex in a majority of cases. You have to be in it to win it.
As stated, stop thinking right now of dates as “getting to know you” exercises and instead view them as an opportunity to get the girl you’re out with home for sex that night . As with any skill set, only practice will yield proficiency. I have now come to a point where I am very comfortable on dates and can usually steer them in the right direction, but it has taken me many years and many, many hundreds of dates (perhaps even more than a thousand) to get the following formula down. Follow this to the letter with supreme confidence and you will start to see great results.
Here’s what you do: Buy a round of drinks and start talking. Sit close to her and quickly steer the conversation to sex by peppering it with double entendres (go easy on this, though; remember that you are establishing an erotic rather than comedic vibe). Ideally, you should hold hands with her almost immediately. Go in for the kiss early. If she resists, don’t worry. Carry on talking, and then try again a little later. Repeat until successful. Buy a second round of drinks. Repeat until you are at a point where you are holding hands and kissing. When she’s nearly finished her drink, say this:
“Hey, let’s go over to my place and watch a movie.”
I would generally recommend taking her to your place rather than going to hers. For a start, there’s something more masculine about it. You’re bringing the girl into your reality and controlling the interaction. And you want to avoid any nasty surprises that could interrupt the process, like her flatmates not going to bed and so on. But if she suggests it or logistically it seems to be the easier option, then by all means go to her apartment. When she agrees to leave with you, you need to get to your destination as quickly and smoothly as possible. I almost always use cabs. Public transport can be erratic, and it’s a buzzkill. Jumping in a cab gives you privacy to carry on kissing and amping up the tension, and it gets you directly back to your place with the minimum hassle.
Note that “going to watch a movie at my place” is generally understood to be code for “let’s go and fuck.” I’ve said this many times to women, and rarely has a film ever been produced, or even referred to, once we’ve gotten back to my apartment. What you should do is start making out with her as soon as you get in the door and then lead her to your (immaculately clean) bedroom. If she is sufficiently attracted to you, on most occasions, this will be sufficient. If she is reluctant, though, take her to the sitting room or some other neutral space, and leave her alone there for a moment so that she can acclimatise herself to the environment. Wait for a few minutes and then come back in. In the interests of comfort, now can be a good time to actually put on a film, but make sure you’re sitting next to her and physically escalating the whole time. As stated, attraction + opportunity generally leads to sex, so the chances are you won’t have to watch very much of the movie.
This is something discussed frequently on pickup blogs and forums—the frustrating tendency for certain women who have given every indication of being ready for sex not to want to go through with it when you have gone home together. This type of girl will make out with you, and she may even get partially naked, but she won’t sleep with you. I have experienced this on several occasions, although probably more infrequently than I have heard it commented on by other people. I can’t be certain, but I would guess that this is because in most cases I have laid down the foundations correctly, i.e., established a strong male-female polarity before taking the girls home.
The standard “seduction community” advice in these situations is to pull back and remove your attention from the girl, perhaps turning away from her, checking emails on your phone, etc., thus forcing her to reengage with you. This may well work with some girls. The technique I’ve employed more frequently, though, and have found to be successful as well as enjoyable, is to simply wear the girl down with erotic attention. Approach it in the same way as you should approach conversation with her. Just try anything and see what works. A classic technique is the full body massage. Most girls love a massage and will be happy you suggested it. Pour on some baby oil, and go to it. Start working her back and shoulders and then her legs. Slowly work your way up from her feet to her thighs, then her buttocks, and then, depending on her level of compliance, start working her clitoris. In most cases, the girl will get so turned on that she will soon demand you fuck her immediately.
No Means No: Seduction is the art of moving an interaction from first meeting to sexual intercourse. This should be done with charm, persistence, and cheeky humour. In the end, though, no means no . If she’s not up for it tonight, you must respect that and leave the door open for next time. All girls are different. Some will sleep with you very quickly after meeting, while others will want to wait longer. Relax. Nothing should be a big deal. If it doesn’t happen tonight, then it will happen next time you meet. And remember that you are a man who enjoys extraordi