Control Your Moods
As discussed in the previous chapter, Chip is the author of anger, sadness and fear. As we grow into adulthood, unless we've been immersed into self-development principles right from our childhood, we have probably developed an addictive mood. These moods, if left unchecked, can dominate our life and cause us to live in misery.
These emotional responses or moods, have the ability to control our lives. These emotions are triggered by 4 sources:
Here's where it gets serious. The moment you attach any negative emotion to what another person says and/or does, you have given them control over your emotions.
Let's say you associated the emotion of anger with something that your spouse says; the moment they say it, you are almost forced into a state of anger. They literally control your emotions!
This can happen with many areas of your life. This can happen in your work environment, at home with your kids or spouse, with your friends, etc.
When you allow others to dictate your mood you will feel out of control and you will have others walking on eggshells trying not to offend you. This will bring no good to your life, but instead will bring you into a constant state of misery and frustration. Eventually, your anger can quickly turn into sadness where you will feel to resign yourself from every environment that causes these feelings. When you have an addictive emotion such as anger, sadness or fear, you will literally scan for opportunities that will reinforce these feelings because they validate your right to be in these moods. This is a dangerous position to be in because it will sink you deeper and deeper into despair.
Maybe you're experiencing this right now. Maybe you have experienced it in the past or maybe you know someone that is caught in this rut.
There is a way out!
It's time we examine what's being said and/or done. Every time we experience one of these 3 emotions it's due to our misinterpretations of the facts and our emotional attachment to the outcome.
Let me give you an example of the facts and then a possible interpretation of the facts.
Example: You are 6 yrs old, your friend Johnny is at your house and he says he's leaving to go home.
Fact - Johnny said he was leaving to go home.
Possible Interpretation - Johnny is leaving because he doesn't like me and doesn't want to play with me anymore.
The fact is exactly what happened as it happened, word for word. Anything above that is your personal interpretation of the facts. Johnny leaving because he doesn't like you and doesn't want to play with you anymore is your view of what was said and done. The fact is simply that Johnny was going home.
You've then expanded on this interpretation and developed a view of others. You may now think that you are not likeable and that people will abandon you because of this "fact" (interpretation). This view was created, not by the facts, but rather by your misinterpretations of the facts.
We associate our personal interpretations to what people say and do all the time. These interpretations can be influenced by our past experiences and how we've interpreted them.
Our question now needs to be: are my interpretations serving me in achieving greatness? Or are they creating negative emotions that are causing me to lash out negatively?
From now on, try looking for the good in every conversation and event that happens. There are always hidden gems that can be uncovered in every experience that will support us and others in our greatness. When we are always looking for flaws, we will always find them. But if we are always looking for the strengths and the good in people we will tend to see more of it.
Warning: Know that finding flaws is 10 times easier than finding strengths and the good in others. In the beginning, I promise you it won't be easy. It does get easier with practice and I can promise you it's worth it, not only for them but for you as well.
In the following chapter, you will see exactly how your emotions are affecting your life in a negative way.