Chapter 4
With a million things on my mind, I didn’t want to even think about school. My luck sucks though because starting in ninth grade, all your class grades matter and count toward college. I don’t understand why I need to have good grades. I’ll probably die before I could even live on my own. I mean I almost died in July. Hello! But Samuel still wants me to do my best. He says he doesn’t want to see me fail
Doesn’t he know I already failed in life? Of course he does. He knows everything about me. He just wants me to turn it around. See how well I know him? I woke up around 6:50 in the morning to the sound of Samuel waking me up. He was getting dressed for school and I couldn’t help but look at that perfect body. His muscles showing through his tight shirt. His amazing abs that I’ve touched a thousand times from laying with him.
“C’mon, baby. You got to get up.” He had a big smile and it made me feel so safe when he stroked my shoulder. I just wanted to lay there, with him whispering to me that everything is perfect. But my fantasy life is never there for me. Always disappearing when I need it the most.
I got up and got dressed a quickly as I could while daydreaming the whole time. Half way through getting dressed I had to ask (even though it was a long shot).
“Sam…” Before I could go any further, Samuel interrupted me which got us into a different conversation.
“Uh, oh. What’s up babe?” I puzzled his response for a moment. ‘Uh, oh’? What was that suppose to mean? I didn’t do anything.
“What uh, oh? What’s wrong?” I could tell he was trying to give me some privacy of getting ready as we talked (looking toward the door every few minutes).
“I know you, Char. Every time you call me Sam, you always want something or want me to do something.” I stayed silent for a minute or two, thinking about what he said.
But, he went on, “And by the sound of your voice, you want something.” Thankfully, I was fully dressed when he came to the door of the bathroom. It wouldn’t matter much since he has seen me getting dressed before. He gave me a huge grin. I thought for another moment and realized he was dead right. I smiled at the thought of him knowing me so well, that I quit brushing my hair for a second.
And the next thing I knew, Samuel was behind me, hugging me so tight with his hands wrapped around my waist. I put the brush to the sink side absent-mindlessly and smiled bigger than I thought I could smile. He whispered softly in my ear, “So, what’s up?” I sighed and hesitated for a minute.
“Can I stay home today? You’re right. I just don’t want to do anything today. I don’t want to be bothered…well, except for you.” He kissed my cheek and let go of me.
“Sorry, but if you want your surprise tomorrow, you have to go today.” We went downstairs and into the kitchen where we made breakfast: toast and cereal.
“Who said I wanted the surprise?” He smiled his light, soft smile that made me have butterflies in my stomach.
“I did. You need it. After everything that’s happened, it would be good for you to do something and focus on it.”
The last few words made me worry. What was he planning? Will I like it, or spas out? I don’t know how long I was out of it, but I came to when Samuel said, “You have to go to school today so you can get the surprise.” He smiled again as he handed me some toast.
“Wait. What does going to school have to do with my surprise?” He didn’t say anything for a while and I thought he didn’t hear me. But he replied, “We won’t be in school at all for it.”
That was the end of our discussion. He would only tell me that I would have to ‘wait and see’. This, as you can see, made me nervous (and a little anxious). Samuel knows surprises make my stomach turn. When he keeps talking about something I don’t know, my head spins out of control and I go crazy. I hate not knowing things people know about. Especially when it comes to Samuel.