Chapter Five Prison
What is your name inmate? I need your name or you will not receive anything. My name is Billy Seals. I received double digits for Drug trafficking, money laundering and battery. That is good enough, he handed him an armful of clothes and 2 towels for bathing. Next '' he shouted. He ordered the inmate that stood behind him the same questions. What is your name inmate? I need your name or you will not receive anything from me. Billy Seals stepped forward into another line to look for a cosmetic bag. After he received a cosmetic bag. He headed to a shower room to take a bath. A massive guard yells out his name. I need Billy Seals! He will need to report to cell house E-2 cell 53 it’s on the fourth gallery. That's me over here Officer. He yells again in E Block cell 53 it’s on the fourth gallery. I got it '' he shouted '' he dropped his clothes on the floor. He reached for a cosmetic bag. Billy Seals a middle aged light skinned male with long dark hair, thin mustache finally smiles back. Thank you Officer, I Will need some clean underwear to go with it. So you think it is funny sitting in jail with a smirk. Most Men that pass through her either become sissies, hardcore thugs or better criminals. I'm here to change things. And if your lucky I may even change a little bit of you. Who Am I Billy. He stepped forward he waited until the shower cleared so he could take one alone. Another inmate left the shower room. He stepped in his place to take his, instead. He noticed one male in particular. It’s like he could not take his eyes off him. Did I know him from somewhere, maybe I did? Did I do business with him before? Billy could not quite remember anything after he almost lost everything. He turned away before he returned to shower one guard yelled, hurry up! You have 5 minutes to shower if you do not. You will leave as you are so hurry. Several Yes Officers echo throughout the shower room that filled with laughter afterward. Inmates hurry showering, they pour shampoo on their hair and rinse in a hurry. Inmates leave the shower one after the other after washing and rinsing, themselves off. Hurry this way “ he yelled “ one guard walked away with inmates for E Block.
Billy Seals a male 5'10 inches tall 166 pounds, medium build followed an Officer from behind. He found himself in line. He kept his eyes on the Prison surroundings for some reason or the other. He continued to keep watch He continued to tell himself, I am not staying that long.
He continued to watch Guards Lock and Unlock iron gates! He followed him through one gate after another through 500 feet of rock tunnel. Billy sees names and massive letters like A or B across a wall that told him which Blocks they passed. Finally, he sees a massive letter E across 1 wall besides an iron gate with a guard just on the other side who held a set of bronze keys. After a quick yell he unlocked the gate to allow Prisoners into the infamous E-Block. One Black Male Guard yelled at inmates after they we're ordered to line up. Billy raised his head, he found 8, 9 maybe 10 galleries overhead. One male guard walked around across from the galleries. He held a shotgun in his hands. A small garage size building remained underneath the E Block. Guards walk in or out of the building either with a notebook with paper, attached. Or orders from Superior Officers to take Prisoners to shower at the infirmary to be checked for HIV or Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
Billy continued to keep an eye on the way things got done in the Penal System. He watched keys dangle from their utility belts besides attitudes that rise and fall. Officers with loud voices and no nonsense attitudes. Some Officers look like they would kill a Prisoner. Which ones wouldn't they if they had too. Prison is bad place for both good and bad people. He waited until the guard finished talking before he started to look for his cell number or at other inmates that stood in the open in their cell. Okay most of you were assigned a cell. If I were you I would find it. I Would stand in front of your cell as of now. Prisoners walk away, they find 2 entrances that led up to galleries, overhead. Billy followed another Prisoner that acted like he had been there several times before.
He carried an armful of clothes besides a cosmetic bag that held a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Billy noticed the Prison is made up of nothing except steel and concrete. A wall of windows lie across from 10 galleries that remain overhead. That guard that walked along a walkway made of steel stopped him dead in his tracks.
He knew he had to figure something out because there had to be a way out of here without killing anybody. Billy reaches the fourth gallery. He turned to his left to look for cell 53 which had to be at the very end. So he walked down the gallery. He stared into one cell after another like he looked for Family, Friends or a familiar face. Before he reached the last cell. He sees inmates that look like they have been there forever.
Finally, he reached that last cell. He looked inside there is not anyone in it. At least I should be alone for a while '' he thought. I can catch up on my thoughts and some memories. Billy tossed his things down on the bottom bunk. He dropped his body down on a bunk size bed, afterward. He placed his head in both hands. He felt a bit choked up from what “ he thought. He then overcame this overwhelming feeling of fear. He released his head in the palms of his hands. He stared at that same guard that held a shotgun. He looked straight back like he knew I planned an escape. Then he had this look like everyone he looked at had that same notion. That sense of feeling like a rat in a cage became reality. He knew from this day on. It would dog eat dog kill or be killed! He grabbed his personal things. He started to make the best of his new surroundings. God Forgive Me for what I have done. I Pray that this will teach me that there is a better life or a better way to live! He tossed things around before he made a shelf where he placed pictures of his deceased Wife and Forgotten Son. Through the process, he heard inmates argue over a bowl of soup or a handful of crackers. Something that he hoped he did not have to deal with. He just concentrated on pictures on a wall besides making his bunk. Another bunk lied overhead which he knew sooner or later someone or something would be sleeping in it. After he made his bunk, placed pictures across 1 wall. He decided to lie down on his bed and rethink. He wondered why did she die? Who would want to kill her “ he thought. He remembered Police Came to Look and to Talk to Him. Where were you when she died? I was not at Home that much I can tell you. That much besides can you tell me why I would kill her? We have a domestic violence report from her on you which is a reason. I threatened her so what? I did not beat her silly or kill her. I warned her after I caught her with an old friend. I told her if you have to go get on with it. I have plenty of girlfriends to fool around with. Policemen just look back at him. I know where he was. He was at my Nephew Partying with a few friends. He wasn't here, he could not have killed her unless, he ordered someone to kill her instead. I remember asking my Nephew did he act funny. Did he look at his watch like he waited for something to happen? His watch did not work, I remember him asking me what time is it. He told me to take a look for yourself. He handed me his wristwatch. Do you know a watchmaker? I need to fix it than he took a long drink. I remember telling him no I do not know one. He turned away from me to take another drink. Then he snorted some cocaine before he played a game with a couple of single homely looking girls. He could not have killed her if he did. He had to have planned it from the beginning.
After thinking about it awhile. He believed Police set him up. Probably because they think he killed her. He lied down on top of his bunk. He closed his eyes to think of his Wife. He closed his eyes he drifted off to an earlier time before he was locked up. His Wife cooked something in the kitchen. She prepared dinner for them both. He remembered they were having potluck a beef stew. A mixture of beef chunks, carrots, potatoes and celery. She crept around on the phone. She probably, talked to her ex-boyfriend about that same time. Which really did not bother him because he had other plans and still does? If things did not work out his way. He knew they would work out the other. Either way he did look at it this way. He knew it would end up this way with good luck. His Son name Billy sat down on the floor. He Watched Television in his Uniform. I think it is a cartoon if I am not mistaken. I will see you later that I remember telling him! I started to call him Junior after that. I disappeared down a hallway that led to the main floor. I remember Junior he looked around like he is afraid of the dark or something. His eyes were awfully teary eyed. I remember I stopped once when I was outside the door that led into the street to look around. I ran back into the Apartment. I told Billy to follow me. We could go to a playground, maybe play on the swings. He turned to face his Mother. I do not think so Dad, Mom Needs me here! I better stay with Mom or else I might be sorry that I left. He smiled back he could not be no more than 10 to 12 years old. I have to go before he left he gave his Wife 1 more smile. I will see you later '' he called out “ and smiles even wider. He walked back down the stairs toward the main floor than he disappeared into a street. He can see Junior in his mind. He watched television he giggled a lot. He did stop before he slid a key into the ignition in his car. Something continued to pull him back into the hallway that led up the stairs. What '' he thought. What could it be? He removes a key from the lock. Suddenly, he heard a bell it must be lunchtime. I better get ready to eat something. So he climbed to his feet. He reached for a clean blue shirt that inmates wear before he left their cell. It is lunch now is anyone going to eat. If you are you better be ready to leave in 5 minutes gentlemen.
Billy climbed to his feet he slipped into his blue shirt. He remained near the gate unaware how things got done here. A loud grinding sound followed like iron gates opened or locked. He stepped into the gallery along with a number of inmates. You will follow the inmate in front of you. If you lose your place then you will spend time in the hole. Am I understood he did follow inmates down a gallery toward a staircase at the very end. Inmates descend one staircase made of steel toward the main floor. First, they pass the third, second gallery before heading to the main floor. A massive guard pointed at them this way. If you step out of line you will go back to your cell, hungry. Am I understood, he pointed to inmates to follow him. Then they walk through a tunnel made of solid steel and concrete that resembled an underground silo. I am not going to tell you again. Do not step out of line or you will return, hungry.
They walk through a tunnel 500 feet before they have a scent that led them to the first sign of food. A machine gun port stopped them dead in their tracks. He mumbled “ we must be feeding a bunch of mountain lions. He waited to catch a glimpse of a man that held that machine gun which is faced directly at them. He looked around he realized he is surrounded by criminals. Bad Men that did the unspeakable. Where in the hell do I think I am '' he thought. I have double digits which meant hard time. That meant I am going to a Maximum Prison where hardened criminals are sent. I better keep an eye not just on my surroundings. On inmates that live around me!
Finally, they we're allowed into chow hall to eat lunch. Billy is last in line for some reason or another. He must be the last man on the gallery or cell. He remembered hearing third gallery doors open where they were '' he thought. I should not be the last man in line. He followed the others just like cattle into chow. He found a serenade of small rooms which were filled with round stainless steel tables besides 4 stools bolted to the floor. Billy removed a tray of food before he entered one room from 10 rooms that follow. A tray filled with ravioli smothered in red sauce 2 pieces of bread and a spoonful of pineapple chunks in another slot. Then he followed inmates after they remove trays from an assembly line made of steel. They we're ordered to move in that direction yet toward rooms where they would sit and eat lunch. Several inmates watch inmates like they were stalkers that watch for prey. This is the first thing that he found after he took a seat in between 2 massive black males that ate lunch. One inmate name ramrod noticed Billy on television. He was caught by City Police and DEA Agents. He made the News which is all he needed to hear from what both black males shared with him.
If I were you Billy, I would keep my mind on business or you might lose your head. Why '' he asked '' after he shoved another spoonful of ravioli into his mouth. He noticed 2 males sitting at a table. They we're about to kill one another. If I were you, I would hurry and eat before that man in the tower up there starts to shoot down at us or into that crowd of undesirables. He had no problem shooting, wounding or even killing one of us for starting a riot in his Prison.
Billy raised his head after he remembered seeing a machine gun port overhead. He started to chew as fast as he could before both males one black the other white attacked each other in the middle of chow. Billy shoved 1 spoonful after another into his mouth. He started to chew just as fast as he could. He reached for a piece of bread covered in butter. He shoved the whole slice into his mouth just in case it happened sooner than he wanted it too. Billy kept both eyes on 2 different tables. He wondered who is going to bust a grape first. Another mouthful of ravioli followed the first one. He gobbled down pineapple chunks one after another. Then that black male who is built like a locomotive swears at him. What are you looking at! He turned his attention back to that white male sitting 2 tables away. A large muscular white male sitting at a table with 3 other white males covered in tattoos kept eating. Billy is almost done eating at this point. He does not care anymore if they fight or not. Now, he is trying to hold down that food that he shoved down his throat. Again, that black male swears at him. I know you do not like blacks. You got a problem. I am going to kill you one of these days. You hear me you piece of shit! He filled his spoon with ravioli. He aimed it at that same white male and tosses it at him. Now the entire room exploded into a food fight. Numerous inmates start to throw what is left on their tray at each other. Other inmates start to beat each other to a pulp. The guard stuck in a steel cage aimed a shotgun down at inmates with a warning first. He fired one shot into a steel wall. He forced most inmates to the ground. Except for a handful of inmates that continued to beat each other to death with their fists. Suddenly, several Guards Attack the chow room with black belly clubs and another warning shot from that guard in a tower that watched. I am not going to tell you again! The next inmate will go to an infirmary or he will die! If you continue to fight after I give you the second warning shot. You will pay the consequences!
Minutes after the riot Guards take inmates back to their Block before another riot occurred. A guard hid in a tower. He aimed an automatic weapon down at them from 18 maybe 20 feet high. There is no way to touch that gun without a ladder unless you could fly 25 feet into the air. Billy is rushed into a hall down a tunnel that led back to E-Block where he resides. Almost one hundred inmates return to E-Block before they were tortured with some kind of spray. Officers use Belly clubs to stop fights and inmates from hurting guards or each other.
Finally, Billy reached the E-Block. He heard the Captain or whoever is in charge yell at inmates from this day forth. Until this matter is resolved everyone on this Block is on 24 hour lockup until further notice. You will receive your meals in your cell from now on. If you have any questions ask the gallery guard. I want everyone to take orders from your Captain from this moment forth. I have no answers for you until the Warden Removes you from deadlock. Am I understood ladies and gentlemen! If you do not understand my answers that is probably because you’re an immigrant. If I were you I would visit the library on the premises. You can take books out at the library from now on. If you can be so helpful. I would like someone to please relay my words in a language that your cellmate would understand?
Captain Bruntts left the floor after inmates reach the first gallery on their way wherever, they we're headed. I do not want you to forget '' he added. You see that guard up there walking around with that shotgun.
He will wait for anyone to try to escape so he could fill your ass full of lead. Good Luck Gentlemen. Billy reached cell 53 once again. He stepped inside after doors open and unlocked. Again, they automatically lock this time within seconds just like magic which kind of startles him. He turned around he walked back toward countless iron bars to look down the gallery. There he is again that guard that walked around with an automatic weapon in both hands. A Tall, Large Black Male with a shotgun. He stared back into his cell so he could watch him '' he thought. He wondered if he kept an eye on him. I will be leaving soon sucker ” he thought. He dropped himself on the floor. He started to do pushups one after another until he could not do anymore.
By the end of the day, he had accumulated almost 500 pushups and 500 sit-ups. After his last set of pushups. He dropped his lifeless body down on his bunk. He could not do anything other than wait for his heartbeat to return to its normal beat. Then a vision of his dead Wife raced through his mind. He remembered seeing her face, her dead body on a stretcher on its way to the morgue. He remembered he choked up before he returned to bed. He remembered holding her hand for minutes before he finally let go. He remembered her Body did look like it lied covered in thin layers of black ash. Like he worked in a coal mine. It did not make any sense at first not until he closed his eyes again and thinks about it.
He remembered having a bad dream one night long ago that now turned into a nightmare. It’s like someone or something tried to warn him.. He paid no attention until it was too late until she was dead. He fluffed up his pillow he turned to his right and again he closed his eyes. It was warm that night that his Wife Slept in the Bedroom because he slept on a sofa. He pressed a button on the fan which kept him cool for a while. He returned to sleep on a sofa where he slept because they were arguing over money or bills. He mumbled '' I need some extra money. I better find a way or I might have to do something that I might regret! I remember I smelled something that smelled like burnt wood. Something that turned into black ash. He remembered jumping off the sofa. He ran into his Son's Bedroom. There is nothing wrong inside then he remembered rushing down the hall to his Wife's Room again he finds nothing. He remembered it is awfully smelly in his bedroom, why '' he thought. This is the only room which had that strong smell of burnt wood or something like dead bodies being cooked. He did stop in the door he stared into the dark through her bedroom. A window to his right, the bed to the left besides several dressers scattered along both walls. Then, he found himself, staring into a standing mirror on his right. He noticed something move in a black shadow that faded into a wall that never seemed to fade. He remembered he walked toward that dark shadow when another sound this one came from his Son's Room which stopped him. Instead, he rushed into the hall, down toward his Son's bedroom to check on him. He opened the door, he rushed into his room. His hands were clinched tight like he was making fists. Nothing, he didn't see anything other than that. He rushed back down the hall to his Wife Bedroom to look for that black shadow. It is not there anymore neither. He got down on both knees to look underneath her bed, nothing. The closet lied to her right so he decided to check it out just in case it hid, inside. She woke up with that noise that he continuously made after he opened and closed doors. I heard something, I do not know if someone came in through an open window in the house. I do not want you in my bedroom after we have an argument. Do not worry about that. I will pack my things tomorrow and leave. First things first, I know I saw something '' he mumbled. He continued to smell that foul smell of something that resembled burnt wood. Damn '' he mumbled '' his Wife returned to sleep after she pulled both covers up over her head. That smell that he continued to smell is followed by several footprints in black ash. It lied over their sand colored bedroom, carpeting. Honey '' he whispered '' I want you to reach over and turn on the light. She growled back I will not turn on the light. You better not bother me again “ she said. Honey '' he added '' I think you better turn on the light. I think someone is in the house with us. She lowered both covers rather slow. She looked around first at Billy then in her room. I do not see anything '' she whispered. He raised his hand to wave her off her bed. He stepped back so she could turn on the bedroom light. He pointed down at footprints on the carpet at what look like someone walked through a burnt down home. And left dirty black footprints all over the carpeting throughout the entire bedroom. The light appeared she remained on top of her bed while he searched underneath the bed. Again, he found nothing so he climbed back to his feet to take another look around. There is no place anywhere anyone could hide other than in her closet where she kept her clothes. Another search of the closet did not turn up anyone or nothing. Now he found lost and unaware to what happened. He could not explain anything. He walked back into the hall after he whispers to his Wife Goodnight.
He returned to his sofa in the living room. He dropped his dead weight on top of it in disgust. He stared up at the ceiling like he would find what he supposed too. He wondered what happened in his bedroom. A small clock sat on top of an end table that revealed it is minutes away from midnight. He realized he could not sleep anymore so he better make some coffee, instead.
After he slipped off their sofa. He made his way to the kitchen so he can make some coffee. Instead, he found a half-eaten donut still in the wrapper so he decided to have it with coffee. He placed a filter in the coffeemaker. He placed several scoops of grounds then a lot of water. Felt, he should search his home one more time before he sat down than stops. Billy felt something gritty almost like sand underneath his feet on the floor. It is the same black stuff that lied over his bedroom, carpeting. Slowly, he raised his head he stared up at the ceiling. He wondered what does it want from me. Billy rushed into his bedroom just off the kitchen. He vanished into the dark behind a bedroom door. Once he stepped inside, he rushed toward a closet door to open it slow near the kitchen. He reached into a wooden box that sat on a top shelf hidden underneath several blankets. He removed a handgun besides a full clip. He popped it into the gun real slow like at first. Again, he raised his head he stared up at the ceiling to listen to sounds that echo through his rental home.
He stepped back into the kitchen he rushed toward a staircase that led upstairs to several rooms. He crept forward one step after another until, he reached the last stair. Again, he sees footsteps on the floor in black dust unless it is a thin layer of dirt. It looked like it led to his Son's Bedroom which really pissed him off. He dashed across the hallway that led to his door and slowly raised a 44 handgun. His facial expression completely changed. It went from no expression to a look of a killer. He burst into his Son's Room with no expectations, whatsoever. He found him lying on top of a batman blanket, hugging his teddy. Damn '' he whispered '' he followed those footsteps that look like they continued to watch over his Family. I do not think so '' he mumbled. He turned on the bedroom light in search of anything that walked around that might leave footprints on the carpet. Nothing, he did not find anyone inside this time or last. He rushed down the hall toward his Wife's Bedroom. After he reached the doorway. He remained in the entrance, stared into his bedroom in search of dark shadows or something that walked around that would leave footprints in black dirt or dust, everywhere. It’s like he froze in the doorway with a 44 handgun that pointed down at the floor. He continued to stare into a mirror in her master bedroom in search of a shadow that moved around like a ghost. He looked away after he did not see anything. He slipped his handgun back into his waistband. He turned right slow just then he felt something so hot standing close to him that he almost fainted. From the corner of his right eye. He sees something in a thin layer of black smoke that continued to rise toward the ceiling and materialized. Then, that dark shadow that he saw in a mirror somehow slowly materialized into a black man. He could not quite make it out. He started to think it is that dim light overhead that made him see things. It is near his Son's Room which is all he needed to know to make him crazy. He withdrew his weapon from his waistband. He stared at that thing that walked through the hall in the dark. It resembled a gold liquid that walked out of a volcano. Like someone poured it down on his head. Then drew lines in his facial skin that left thin tiny streaks of hot gold. His eyes were closed yet somehow open. He could see through his eyelids for some strange reason. He remembered shaking his head from left to right in rapid succession in hope that he is just seeing things. After another glance down at the carpet. He sees footprints made of black ash all over the place. He stepped forward into a cloud of graphite colored heat that somehow knocked him to his knees. He collapsed on the carpet, his weapon remained clutched tight in his right hand. A sudden grunt told him we were not alone. It had to be some kind of ghost, black beast, something that he dreamt about. What is it '' he thought. Whatever it is that thing hid in a cloud of heat that drained every ounce of strength. He could barely rise to his feet. He remained on his knees like he is punch drunk. He had to hold on to a wall on his left. His handgun remained tight in his hand. He searched the second floor for that same dark creature. His eyes remained on his Son's Bedroom Door. He never opened the door or he would see it from a crack in the doorway. A small night light remained on. He would see it if that door opened an inch. Billy '' he whispered '' he reached for the door. Before he turned it to the right he sees it. It stood over his bed with its hands reaching downward to embrace him. He raised his handgun with what strength he had left in his body. He pulled the trigger multiple times. It crashed through Billy's Bedroom window and vanished. Even before he had a chance to kill it. Billy Climbed to his feet in shock after he heard gunfire than glass explode almost, everywhere. What happened “ his Wife shouted “ from down the hall. She came running as fast as she could, anyway. Billy ordered his Son into the hall. I want you to stay with Mom until I get back. He disappeared into the cold outside. His handgun in his right hand, his left grabbed a broken window frame. Mom '' he shouted '' Dad disappeared into the cold outside. I think he saw a black creature or something. She noticed black footprints on the floor which were unusual at that. Dad, I saw him too. She stared into his eyes, she wondered what it meant. I had a dream I saw the devil. He will be coming for me in my dreams. I do not know why Mom. Again, she lowered her head this time she continued to look into his eyes then down at a beige carpet. Several black footprints were everywhere. Whoever made that mess is in trouble. They walk out through a burnt down house. Picked up burnt ashes on the bottom of their shoes or feet. Then, he tracked them over her home. She did not know whether or not if she should call Police or what until he got back. She moved the curtain to her right. She looked into the dark like she wondered what happened. She thinks she sees someone or something in a reflection in the glass. A dark shadow, a figure of a man. She spun her body to the right. She stared back into her home into the dark. There is not anyone in there or hiding. She stared back at pieces of window pane to look for a reflection in the glass. She grabbed her Son. She held him back away from the cold wind that entered in through both broken windows. I have to clean up this mess. You better climb into my bed while I clean it up. I will be in later to check up on you. I have to clear up broken glass while you sleep. You have school tomorrow. I will be in to check on you after I am done. Now get going, Billy walked down the hall toward his Mother's Bedroom to Sleep.
His Father disappeared into the cold dark outside through a broken bedroom window. He remembered he chased it through an alley in the dark. He also remembered it is awfully dark where he's headed. There is no light anywhere. Usually there is light in the alley. He mumbled '' Damn, I cannot believe it that damn thing got away with almost killing my family. He continued to walk down the alley in the complete dark toward the other end. An abandoned home to his right. It grabbed his attention. He stopped in a gangway to look then he stared into a backyard. He smelled that smell of burnt wood throughout the yard which forced him inside to have a look around. Several boarded up windows told him, it could be inside unless the entrance is also boarded up. He stepped deeper into the backyard to have a closer look. He does not see anything because it is to dark. Then, he noticed that someone or something slammed a door wide open by force. It is slightly ripped apart. It hung to one side in the entrance. Billy reached into his inside pocket. He removed a hand held lighter that he used to light his cigarettes with. He stopped in the entrance just in case it tried to outsmart him. He smelled that smell of burnt wood which told him that it hid in here for dear life. It cannot be anywhere else. He stepped into a small area about the size of a bathroom. He sees 2 different entrances 1 that led up the stairs to a main floor, the other into a basement. Again '' he mumbled '' shit, which way do I go now. He continued to tell himself before he descended into the dark. First he flicked the lighter on. He raised his handgun than descended one step at a time to a staircase. He noticed that smell is much stronger this way and not facing upstairs. He reached the bottom step. He stopped to take another sniff of cool air told himself that it is here alright. He made sure his weapon is cocked back. That a bullet is in the chamber and it is ready to go off. Again, he flicked a lighter on after his thumb got so hot that he could not take it anymore. You better be down here '' he shouted '' because I am going to kill you! Again, the door hung by a hinge. He did not know if it is already like that or if it is purposely done. He did know that a smell of burnt wood lied everywhere. I know you’re in here whoever or whatever you are! I want to know what you want. If it is money you want. I do not have any so what is it that you want from me. My Wife, are you a jealous boyfriend or are you infatuated by her beauty