The traffic had been less than she had expected, so instead of getting to the party a bit late, she was right on time. Not that she would have minded. As the designated driver of little missy princess she was well used to arriving late. It just went with the job description. Maureen pulled up outside the house of Penelope’s friend.
‘Here you go, then. You make sure that you enjoy yourself today, my little princess, OK?’
‘OK, mummy.’
Maureen got out of the car, and opened the back door. She released the buckle mechanism that kept Penelope safe in her child’s seat, and lifted her out of the car.
‘Take my hand, come on.’
Maureen accompanied her daughter to the front door, and rang the doorbell. Within seconds the door opened, and an elderly woman welcomed them.
‘Hello,’ she bent down to welcome Penelope, ‘don’t you look lovely, all dressed up for the party. Come on in, they are all out in the back garden. Come with me.’
The elderly woman held out a hand for Penelope to take hold of. Penelope looked hesitant, and turned her head up towards her mother.
‘It’s alright, Penelope, this is Jennifer’s grandmother. She will take you to see your friends.’
Maureen turned her attention to the woman.
‘I’m sorry, she’s awfully shy with people she doesn’t know. When she sees her friends she will be just fine.’
The elderly woman smiled at Penelope.
‘Don’t you worry now. I’m not going to bite!’
Still looking very unconvinced Penelope went into the house with the elderly woman.
‘I’ll be back in a couple of hours to pick you up. Wish Jennifer Happy Birthday for me! See you!’
Maureen walked back to her car. Her day was long, and tiring, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. She wore her tiredness almost as a badge of accomplishment. It was to her the sort of tiredness that came with having achieved good things. It was the tiredness of triumph. Her life was just where she wanted it to be, even if that did sometimes take a toll on her. Occasionally feelings of impatience grew in her, but she would push them down. Tiredness and impatience just came with the territory when you had a seven year old child. It was written right there in the manual they gave you when you had a child. ‘Chapter one: See you in 18 years.’ She smiled as she thought about how busy little children had become. When she had been Penelope’s age, she would barely have got to leave the house, except to go to school, or the supermarket with her mother. Things had really changed. She sometimes thought of herself as Penelope’s personal assistant, the person she relied on to keep her day’s appointments running smoothly. PA to a seven year old. Now that was some career achievement! She had finally gotten the top job, personal assistant to the boss. That made her smile. In fact, she used humour, and positive thoughts, to combat her usual feelings of fatigue. Maureen wouldn’t let anything ruin the sense of great fulfillment she felt about her life. There would be time to rest later, and then she would look back on these as having been the good years, so it really made sense to enjoy them as she lived them. Just as she was about to start the car her phone rang. She saw that it was Beth calling.
‘Hi Beth, how are you?’
‘Listen Maureen, I really need to talk to you. Where are you?’
Something about Beth’s tone made Maureen sit up straighter in her seat.
‘What’s up Beth?’
‘Can we meet up for a coffee, please, then I will explain you everything. Are you far from McFlintlock’s?’
‘No, I’m about ten minutes away. OK, I’ll see you there.’
A queasy feeling developed in Maureen’s stomach. Something was up, and she was sure that no good would come from it. If it wasn’t anything serious Beth would just have told her over the phone. As she drove towards the coffee shop a feeling of anxiety grew in her. What was it that Beth didn’t want to tell her over the phone? Why this sudden urgency to meet for a coffee? Lost in her thoughts she soon found herself in front of McFlintlock’s, their favourite coffee shop. She found a parking place as close as she could, and went in. Beth, a beautiful woman with her fiery red, curly hair, was already sitting at one of the tables, and looked at her as she entered. Beth was usually a happy, smiling person, but this time her face was a mask of seriousness. Maureen sat down in front of her friend.
‘What’s going on, Beth? What’s happened?’
Beth looked down briefly, and then looked Maureen right in the eyes.
‘There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to tell it as it is. Believe me, I have checked, and double checked, the information before calling you. I’m afraid there’s no possibility that it’s not true.’
By this stage Maureen was beside herself with anxiety.
‘Well, tell me then.’
‘Rachel had stopped at the ATM of a bank up along Coastal drive, out towards Newport, when she saw two people come out of the hotel just next door to the bank. I’m afraid it was Dave, and a woman.’
Maureen’s blood turned to ice as she listened to her friend. Her mind zoned out. She felt herself transported to another dimension. A dimension where life was upside down. A dimension where every thing was the opposite of what it should be. A dimension that she would never return from. Time was frozen in that moment. In her life there would be two states of being, before that moment, and after that moment. In the coldness of that strange mental state, she already knew with surety that life would never be the same again.
‘The two of them kissed, then got into their cars, and drove away. Rachel saw Dave clearly, and even recognised his car. I’m sorry Maureen, but there just isn’t any doubt. Rachel asked me to...’
Before Beth could finish her sentence, Maureen stood up and left the coffee shop. Somehow she found herself sitting in her car. She banged her hands on the steering wheel, in a blind rage. She could feel her heart pounding, as the rage grew in her. After all she had done for him! Everything she had given up. The betrayal cut through her, like a knife. Her mind drifted back to when she had first met Dave. Her family, and most of her friends, had never been very convinced about her choice. They had told her that he was far too superficial, and that she could find someone more suitable to her. Of course she had realised that he was nowhere near as serious as her, but she had thought that that could be a good thing. As long as they loved each other, with their differences they could compensate each other, they could complete each other, no matter what other people thought. Maureen had been convinced that behind his flippancy was the real Dave, someone you could rely on. A rock. A solid person. Someone you could build a life with. Someone you could trust. The anger grew.
‘You fucking arsehole!’
She yelled and tooted the horn, furiously.
‘You fucking prick!’
She would never forgive him for this, never! How could he do this to her? After everything she had sacrificed for him. Her job, her life, everything put on hold to take care of Penelope. And what about Penelope? How could he do this to her? Everything they had built together came crashing down. Her world was in pieces. All her hopes and dreams lay shattered on the ground. In the end everybody had been right about Dave’s superficiality. She had been wrong. It was a mistake that she wouldn’t repeat. Maureen could feel her rage turning into cold steel decision. There would be no going back, no second chances. He had shown his true colours. He had made his choice. He had decided his future. What he had done was unforgivable. She would never, ever, be able to get passed this. Maureen knew that she would never be able to trust him again. The life she had known was over.
----------
To a certain extent it wasn’t really that much of a surprise. In the back of his mind James had almost been dreading, but really expecting, this moment. There had been a sort of inevitability about it. When you play with fire, you get burnt. If you light a little fire, you could easily end up burning down your house. Dave had pulled out a box of matches, and had lit them all at once. The flames had grown out of control, and had burnt down his house. It was Monday evening, and there on his doorstep was Dave, suitcase in hand. His face wore the saddest, most dismal, expression James had ever seen on him. He didn’t need to ask Dave what was going on. It was obvious. He had gambled, and he had lost. He had gone all in, and now he was all out.
‘I guess I don’t need to ask you what this is all about. Come on, then, get in.’
James motioned for his friend to enter his flat. He felt disillusioned with his friend, but he would never turn his back on him, especially when he was in need of help.
‘Thanks man.’
Dave slouched into James’s flat, and threw himself down on the couch. He buried his face in his hands.
‘I’ve got no idea how she found out. But you can believe me when I tell you that she did not take it well.’
‘Hey, what a surprise, Dave. What were you expecting? How did you think she would take it? You bloody idiot. Shit, man, after all you and Maureen have been through together. She is such a good person. You could never have found anyone better than her. I just don’t understand any of this. What the fuck were you thinking?’
James couldn’t keep a slight touch of anger out of his voice.
‘Yeah, well, I guess that makes two of us. I screwed up big time. Hey, don’t think that I don’t realise that. I can’t even get an answer from Vicky. I don’t know why.’
James sat down at the table, and replied, in a softer voice.
‘Actually I do. Lucy had a bit of a health scare over the weekend. I took her into hospital Friday night with bad stomach pains.’
Dave sat up a bit straighter in his chair, with a look of concern on his face.
‘Really? How is she now?’
‘She seems to be fine. They gave her some pretty powerful sedatives, and she seems to have slept it off. No doubt Emma and Vicky are keeping a close eye on her. I spent just about the whole weekend at her place, while she slept it off, and that was after spending all night Friday at the hospital.’
An ironic tone crept into Dave’s voice.
‘I guess that explains why I didn’t hear anything from you about how the breakup went.’
Even in this distraught state, Dave just couldn’t help himself. He would always be Dave. James laughed.
‘Yeah, the hospital environment wasn’t really conducive to a breakup talk.’
Dave’s strained face forced out a smile.
‘No, I bet it wasn’t.’
‘How did Maureen find out about you and Vicky?’
‘I don’t know. She said that that is totally irrelevant. Which I guess is true. Anyway, she found out, and really hit the roof. I’m not sure if she will ever forgive me for this one. Man, it was a pretty tough session. Poor Penny was in her bedroom listening to it all. I really hate myself for the effect it has had on her. And will have. Hey, can I crash here?’
‘Of course you can. The couch bed is yours for as long as you need it.’
‘Thanks, man. I knew I could rely on you.’
‘So what happens now? Are you going to continue things with Vicky, or are you going to try and work it out with Maureen?’
Dave lay back on the couch, with the back of his right hand up on his forehead. He looked like a man who was trying to solve a difficult dilemma, but just didn’t quite have the necessary mental acumen to work it through. He was stone age man trying to work out quantum physics.
‘God knows. For now, I think I will leave them both to it, and just try and get through this week. Maybe some sort of illumination will hit me. With a bit of luck, in the form of a lightning strike.’
Even in his worst of moments, Dave couldn’t relinquish his indomitable sense of humour.
James smiled at his friend.
‘Welcome back. I’m glad to see you haven’t completely lost your sense of humour. Even in your darkest hour. Come on, I will get the couch bed sorted out for you.’
‘Actually, I would prefer a drink, if you have anything.’
‘Yeah, why not? I’ve got some beers, or whiskey. What would you prefer?’
‘Let’s have some whiskey. The stronger the better.’
James disappeared into the kitchen, and returned with a couple of glasses, and then he got a bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet. He poured out a couple of glasses, one big one for his friend, and a smaller one for himself. Dave raised his glass.
‘Women.’
‘I’ll drink to that,’ replied James. ‘To all the good, and all the bad they bring us.’
They both took a much needed sip of the whiskey.
‘Where does all this leave you with Lucy?’
‘I guess after this health scare I had better let a bit of time pass before I try to broach the break up. Maybe a week or two, I don’t know. I don’t want to leave it too long. I don’t like carrying on like this, and it’s also not fair on her to let her think that we are both in love. Shit, it really freaked me out when she told me how much she loved me. It was just so unexpected. I had really thought it was going so well. Just a casual thing for us both. Man, did I ever get that one wrong. I think women may actually be a different species to us, rather than just a different gender. I think they come from another planet. They speak the same language as us, but everything seems to have a different meaning. I’m never going to be able to understand them. Really, I just want to get back to my single life. Work is starting to get pretty enjoyable again. I’m working on some nice projects, but without all the pressure from the old job. If I can just get back to how I was before meeting Lucy, I will be pretty happy. I really only want a nice quiet life.’
‘Sorry, man, I guess that a lot of this is all on me. I thought I was doing you a favour. I really did. Now look where we are, the two of us. A right bloody mess.’
James could see that Dave already had a lot to contend with on his own front, without the need to take on the extra burden of his predicament, as well. He decided that he wouldn’t put the boot in. Even though he was sorely tempted.
‘Hey, listen Dave, my situation is all on me. It was me who decided in the end to go for it with Lucy. Your situation? Well, my friend, that is completely on you. And brother, did you really screw that up. Let me worry about the Lucy deal, you just concentrate on your problems, and how you want to solve them. You really need to come up with an idea of how you want to play this going forward.’
The two friends sat there for a while, in silence, looking into their whiskey glasses. Each dwelling on his own torments.
‘I think you better fill these up again, Jimmy. I definitely need another one, quite possibly two.’
‘Yes, my friend, I think we both do.’
----------
The blare of the ambulance’s siren thundered through the quiet of the night. The darkness of the streets was brought alive with the flare of the emergency lights. In the back of the ambulance Lucy was holding her stomach, and moaning in pain. In the background was the noise of the chatter on the radio. The emergency technician was trying to pacify Lucy, and get some readings of her condition. Other than taking her vital signs he wasn’t really able to do much more. With her obvious internal pain they would need the medical equipment of the hospital to really find out what was wrong with the patient. Lucy had gone to bed Tuesday evening with a bit of an upset tummy, which she had just put down to all the drugs they had given her over the weekend. However when she awoke at around 2 am she knew something really bad was happening. She had felt such a sharp pain in her stomach that she was barely able to get to the phone to call an ambulance, and then only with great difficulty. While she had waited for the ambulance she had wanted to call James, but she could hardly move, and it was all she could do to get to the door to open it, ready for the ambulance crew when they arrived. She had lain there on the floor, waiting for them, knowing that the weekend’s problem hadn’t been an isolated incident, and that something really serious was happening to her. She was sobbing as she had been helped into the ambulance. The pain she felt was absolutely devastating. The drive to the hospital passed in a blur for her. All she could think about was the pain she felt. It engulfed her completely. Time, and place became fused together, in a foggy haze. Before she had realised it, she found herself in the hospital. The bright lights, and the strident sounds of the bustling hospital gave her a headache. People were asking her lots of questions, questions which she didn’t have the strength to answer. The next few hours passed in a strange state of separation for her, and she could remember little about them. She remembered hearing strange clicking noises that somehow seemed out of place, as if they belonged to another dimension. Distant voices echoed around her, but she wasn’t able to distinguish the language they were speaking in. She was in a blurry world of blinding light, and harsh noises. The next thing she clearly remembered was when she woke up, in a hospital bed, surrounded by James, Vicky, and Emma. The looks she saw on their faces told her all she needed to know.
‘Hello there,’ said Emma, with tears in her eyes.
James moved to her side, and took her hand.
‘What...? How did you know I was here?’ Lucy said, confused to find all her friends at her bedside.
Vicky took her other hand.
‘One of the nurses called the last number you had called, on your cell phone, which was mine. I called the others, and we all got down here.’
The pain in her stomach had subsided, it was now just a moderate pain, mixed in with a very nauseous feeling, as if she had eaten something rotten.
‘What have they told you? Do they know what’s wrong with me?’
Her three friends exchanged worried looks among themselves. Vicky slowly rubbed her hands together, and replied;
‘Legally, as we are not family, they aren’t allowed to tell us any specifics. But, I’m really sorry Lucy, it looks like it is something pretty serious.’
James gave Lucy a kiss on her brow, stood up, and said,
‘I’ll see if I can find your doctor, and tell him you are awake.’
As James left the room, Emma took his place, by Lucy’s side, and took her hand in hers.
‘Hey, you. Whatever happens, we are all in this together. You know that don’t you?’
Lucy felt so scared. If her friends were this worried she knew it must be something really, really bad. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she looked at her two best friends. Her friends who had been with her all her life. She loved them so much, she had so much she wanted to tell them, but couldn’t find the words to say anything. She gripped their hands tightly. With a bustle that only busy doctors have, a man in a white coat entered her room, followed closely by James.
‘Good morning Miss Belmore, my name is Doctor Franks, I’ve been monitoring your situation since your arrival here. Listen, it’s probably best if we ask your friends to leave, so we can have a good chat about your situation.’
The doctor had a rather stern face, with a sort of no nonsense expression, the sort of expression typical of people of his profession.
‘Please, if it’s possible, I would prefer them to stay. They are like family to me, and I’m really feeling rather confused, so if they can stay, they will probably be better able to understand the situation.’
Lucy knew that she would barely be able to understand what the doctor had to tell her, she felt so distant, and strange. Like she wasn’t even there, and it was all happening to her in a dream. A bad dream. A dream she couldn’t wake up from.
‘Yes, certainly, as you prefer. Well, I’m afraid it’s not good news. Based on the condition you were in on your arrival, and the fact that you were here just a few days earlier, we sent you straight for a CAT scan. What the scan evidenced is a tumour in the lower part of your stomach. We won’t really be sure until we get in there to have a good look, but at this stage it seems to not be totally localised. I would like to book you in for surgery as soon as possible. That way we can get to grips with the situation quickly, and see just how things are. Do you have any questions for me?’
Lucy looked at the doctor dumbfounded. The words had floated across her head, barely registering. She had understood the words tumour, and stomach, but little else. Her heart was racing. She felt like she had just been passed a death sentence, but without understanding what her crime had been. Her head was full of so many questions, but she just didn’t know where to start. Seeing her confusion Emma jumped in.
‘Doctor, when you say it doesn’t appear totally localised, does that mean you think it has already spread to other parts of her body?’
‘In the early stages of stomach cancer we usually see a small mass. Sort of like a marble shape, to put it in layman’s terms. In this case it appears more spread out, but really, the best thing now is to schedule an operation, and take it out before we make too many assumptions. Listen, I would like to keep you in here, and get on with the operation as soon as possible. I would like to run some more tests today, and hopefully schedule you for tomorrow. How does that sound?’
Lucy had no idea what she was supposed to answer to that. Her world had come crashing down on her head. She was speechless. She had gone from a bad stomach bug to cancer, in the blink of an eye. Her world was on spin cycle.
‘Of course, doctor, if that’s what you think is best,’ said Vicky, ‘Lucy would obviously prefer to find out exactly what it is, as soon as possible. She will be ready as soon as you can organise the operation. It’s definitely the best way forward.’
Lucy looked at Vicky, thanking her with her eyes. She couldn’t speak. Waves of panic were washing over her. Was this really happening? Cancer?
‘I’ll go over to your place and get some things for you,’ said Emma. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll find everything. You just try and relax a bit. Hey James, why don’t you come with me to the vending machine, and get some water for Lucy?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ll be right back, my dear friend.’ Emma kissed Lucy on the forehead, and left the room, followed by James.
The two of them walked down the corridor in silence. When they reached the vending machine Emma turned to James. Her voice was soft, but determined.
‘You were pretty quiet in there. You know, she really needs us now. What’s going on? Where are you?’
James had a very unusual expression on his face.
‘No no, I understand. It’s just all a lot to take in.’
‘I heard that Dave is staying at your place, and all this business with Vicky and him has really blown up at the wrong time, but the priority here has to be Lucy. I know that you are worried about Dave, and his family, but really, this is bigger than all that. She really needs you now. You get that, right?’
‘Yes, of course. I’m here for her. Don’t worry, you go off and get her clothes, and things, I will get the water for her.’
Emma walked off along the spartan corridor of the hospital ward, leaving James by the vending machine. For some time he just leaned on the machine, with his eyes shut.
----------
The rest of that day passed in a total state of confusion for James. He understood totally that he had to put aside his real feelings about his relationship with Lucy, and play his part. In any case, she would always be a dear friend, and at the moment his dear friend most definitely needed him. He tried to not think about the incredibly bad timing of it all, and how he was now placed in a role that wasn’t really his. Things were expected from him, things that he had never wanted, or expected, had been thrust upon him. The divine, malicious, hand of fate had dealt him a cruel blow. He found himself like an actor on stage who had forgotten his lines. Everyone was looking to him, and he just stood there speechless, in the spotlight’s glaring rays. It was a great relief when night finally arrived, and, as they had given Lucy a sedative, all her friends went home, to get some sleep before the big day. The day of her operation. If this day had been hard to get through, he could only imagine how hard the following day would be. When he got home Dave was waiting anxiously for some news.
‘Hey, James, finally. What’s going on? I had a couple of short messages from Vicky, but she didn’t really have time to call me. I called you, but you had your phone turned off. Hospital regulations I guessed. It sounds pretty bad. How are you holding up?’
Before replying James poured a couple of large whiskeys for the two of them. He sat down on the couch, and tried to focus.
‘Yeah, it’s bad alright. Cancer, and from what they think so far, it has already spread. They are going to do an operation on her tomorrow morning to take out what they can. Only then, when they get inside her, will they be able to see the full extent of things.’
Dave had listened intently to his friend. He sat back, and put his hands behind his head.
‘Listen, if they are already talking like that they must already suspect that it’s really bad. Normally they try and give you a bit of optimism. A lifeline to cling to. A bit of hope. They must already have an idea of just how much it has spread, or they wouldn’t be preparing her like this. It doesn’t sound like there will be any good news tomorrow. What about you? It must be really hard for you, especially given that you were on the brink of breaking up with her. How are you holding up?’
James threw his hands behind his head, sighed, and closed his eyes. He wished someone would wake him up, and tell him it had all just been a dream. A nightmare.
‘Badly, really badly. I feel so false. I mean, I really like her, but I sort of have to play the part of the loving boyfriend, which I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I would be there for her anyway, but only in the role of a friend. Hey, a good friend. The whole thing is really killing me, which makes me feel even worse, considering what Lucy is going thr